Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

The art of negotiation. It is a coveted skill that most executives aspire to master early in their careers. Heck, it is a skill most people seek to perfect as negotiation occurs in every aspect of life.

I recall a lively negotiation with my daughter who decided two weeks before her ballet recital she no longer wanted to dance and instead play soccer. That was a tricky conversation that involved a lot of ice cream and the promise to sign her up to play soccer after the ballet recital. Sound familiar?

What are the key elements all negotiations share? Middle Market Growth editor, Kathryn Mulligan, dives into a conversation on a recent podcast with Chris Voss, the FBI's former lead international hostage negotiator and the CEO of The Black Swan Group. Chris Voss is also the author of #LPCBookCorner book of the month, "Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It."

Here are three things we learned from reading the book and listening to the podcast:

1. Negotiation begins with listening. It's about validating people's emotions and getting them talking. Using a tactic called mirroring encourages people to speak and establishes rapport with the other party, according to Chris Voss.

2. It is 10x more detrimental to fix a bad deal than start from scratch on a new deal.

3. When people negotiate, they mostly focus on pitching the gain instead of focusing on resolving the other party's problem. "Summarizing and repeating the concerns of the other party in a negotiation is the best way to get them to agree to a solution," Chris Voss.

To learn more about how to negotiate effectively, pick up Chris Voss' book, or sign up for The Black Swan Group's weekly newsletter at blog.blackswanltd.com/the-edge.